They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize