just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
