Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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