why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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