Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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