I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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