Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
