Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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