sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
