you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
