That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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