So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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