I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
