I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
