Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
