Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
