dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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