I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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