I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
