i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
