Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
