Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
His nipple licking is glorious
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