I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
