I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
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it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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