so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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