In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
