True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize