fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i drank out of a bidet.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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