I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
