I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
