maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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