If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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