this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
