Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
