There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
