I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
