I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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