Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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