I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
