Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
porn star boner night. come get it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
