SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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