I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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