The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
