you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
