Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Come share oat with me in your robe
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
