hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
