You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
