hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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