do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
