You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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