True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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