I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?