have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos