pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry about my life...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking