I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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