Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
