Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
