Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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