so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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