well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
