Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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