he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
