I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
