I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
