Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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