TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
