So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
