everyone is single if you try hard enough
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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